Candy Girl

I have to profess that Hard Candy is my favourite Madonna album since Ray of Light (1998)! That said, she's pretty much guest starring on cool cuts produced by Timbaland, Neptunes and friends! At times Madonna sounds like Timbaland muse Nelly Furtado and one-time rival Paula Abdul on Candy Shop!

Hard Candy is more a sequel to Justin Timberlake's awesome Future Sex / Love Sounds, which, in my view, is a good thing, even if it doesn't push the envelope and Madonna is a trend follower in this instance!

Is Hard Candy as good as Mariah Carey's blockbuster E=MC²? I'd suggest not!

E=MC² is a formula for single success

The sequel to Mariah Carey's multi-platinum album The Emancipation of Mimi, E=MC², may become the diva's most successful release to date!

Mariah Carey's 11th studio album is front-loaded with a dazzling array of potential singles and not at the expense of musical integrity! Following the coy Touch My Body, I'm That Chick is a cool cut that borrows heavily from '70s disco and even goes as far as directly quoting from the zenith of the era - Michael Jackson's celebrated Off The Wall album! Mariah's introspective dissertation on her failed marriage to Tommy Mottola, Side Effects, is another standout and evokes the paranoia of Michael Jackson's best material! For the Record is mesmeric, replete with Mariah's trademark vocal pyrotechnics.

E=MC² closes with I Wish You Well. With its haunting gospel overtones, the song sounds incongruous against what has proceeded it! That said, it's a beautiful and rare opportunity to hear Mariah Carey's voice emote a cappella.

I've been a fan of Mariah Carey since Vision of Love and it's fair to say that her formula had become homogenised, self-parody (a point that Mariah lampoons on the brilliant album opener Migrate) and, frankly, dull towards the end of the '90s! It's ironic that whilst she has stuck to that commercial formula sans glitter - so successfully brewed by the alchemists at Sony BMG Music and perfected on Emancipation - E=MC² sounds flirtatious, fresh and fun! Mariah Carey is at the top of her gorgeous game!

Now we simply await the return of Madonna with Hard Candy! Pop music lovers are sure to be in for a treat over the coming weeks and months. Bring on the soundtracks to the summer!

Too Low For Zero

With the FIFA World Cup coverage now at saturation point! I'm inspired to impart the following football anecdote, which first appeared here.

In the summer of 1989 Dad, Uncle Allan, Mike and me watched Torquay United play Bolton Wanderers at Wembley Stadium. We'd secured VIP tickets and therefore were able to park in the VIP car park.

The guest of honor, Sir Elton John (obese, bold, pallid and dressed in what can only be described as Parson's attire), arrived in his signature black Bentley! His driver was promptly told not to park in the private members area! His royal highness, Sir Elton John, stepped out of the car. But, security were nonplussed and reiterated, to the driver (whose protestations had incensed security), to move the car or it would be towed away!!!

Whilst this was going on, I took the opportunity to ask Sir Elton for an autograph? His driver informed me that Mr Elton wasn't signing today, before returning to argue with security! Nice. I couldn't resist telling Sir Elton that I was a Michael Jackson fan! And the car was driven away!

So, there you have it, unequivocal proof that Sir Elton John is an incorrigible diva! Can't wait to meet Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey one day!

Singular Vision

Last June I wrote an article about the dethroned self-proclaimed King of Pop Michael Jackson.

Sony BMG's decision to release Visionary (a remastered collection of classic singles wrapped in ornate Epic records packaging) is a further attempt to nickel and dime fans already exhausted by an annual diet of repackaged hits.

This time around the unique selling point is format. The songs are being made available on DualDisc for the first time! In 1991 Barry Fox, veteran electronics journalist and media pundit, writing for ERT magazine, wrote that Sony artists would release their music on crisps if it guaranteed more sales (relating to Sony's stalled MiniDisc format)! Personally, I drew the line with The Ultimate Collection (4CD+DVD) and await new material.

In a move that mimics Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson is rumored to be recording a duet with West Life! Please pass me the new Prince and LL Cool J (Featuring Jennifer Lopez).

My Favorite Things

Part two of my Review of the Year.

*Album - The Emancipation Of Mimi. After several years in the wilderness Mariah Carey captures R&B magic in a bottle. Runners up: Chemistry (Girls Aloud) and Come And Get It (Rachel Stevens).

*Single - Biology. Those Girls Aloud produce another pop opus. Runners up: You're Beautiful (James Blunt) and Push The Button (Sugababes).

*Movie - Batman Begins. The dark genesis of everyone's favorite psychologically damaged vigilante. Runners up: Revenge of the Sith and War of the Worlds.

*DVD - Lost and Doctor Who Season One Boxsets. This was too close to call! Runners up: Battlestar Galactica and Desperate Housewives.

*Television Drama - Battlestar Galactica. Dangerous and dry sci-fi that avoids the simplicity of the Star Trek franchise. Runners up: Desperate Housewives and Lost.

*Television Sci-Fi - Doctor Who. A slumbering Whovian was stirred by Russell T. Davies, Billie Piper and golden Daleks. Runners up: Battlestar Galactica and Lost.

*Merchandise - 12" R/C Dalek from toy powerhouse Character Options. This year's Buzz Lightyear is the definition of 'must-have'. However, may I direct your attention to the Assault Dalek (with Claw) sold through Toys R Us! This variant is limited to 5000 units worldwide. Runners up: General Grievous Wheel Bike and Transformers Darth Vader.

Smooth Criminal

Watching Michael Jackson Moonwalk to freedom from the Santa Maria courtroom gave me pause to reflect on this once enigmatic, and revered, pop icon. Where does he go from here?

Second acts are rare and Michael Jackson's altered popular music forever with the release of Thriller (1982). Motown 25: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow (1983) was a once in a lifetime moment and one Michael Jackson is unlikely to reprise. The success of Thriller, its singles and ground breaking videos was a landmark achievement and music producer Nile Rodgers was famously quoted as saying "There's the music industry before Thriller and there's the music industry after Thriller." An overstatement? I don't think so.

This commercial juggernaut had a negative effect on Michael Jackson who became obsessed with the notion of unit sales for Thriller's first sequel and surgical transformation (America is a shrine to solipsism). He expected to sell 100 million copies of Bad (1987) and crafted songs around the technology of the day (arguably inspired if somewhat dating). At the time I bought a CD player in order to own the bonus track (a concept taken foregranted now) Leave Me Alone.

Citing creative differences with Quincy Jones during the shelved recording of Decade (footwear giant LA Gear signed a $60 million endorsement deal, "Unstoppable", to promote the album and Love Hewitt starred in TV Spots), Michael enlisted Teddy Riley. Dangerous (1991) merged R&B, Rock and Pop with New Jack Swing. The influence of the 'Dangerous sound' can be heard in 2005.

Subsequent album releases were overshadowed by the Jordan Chandler scandal and Michael Jackson's marriage to Lisa Marie Presley. This culminated in a serious financial dilution of Jackson's hits collection (at one time more valuable than any other artist) and the rush release of HIStory Past, Present and Future Book 1 (1995). Disc 2 spawned the classics Scream, They Don't Care About Us and Stranger In Moscow.

Invincible (2001) was hailed as the comeback album. Yet, the inclusion of too many producers (including Darkchild) culminated in a stagnant sound and at great expense to Sony ($20 million). Michael's mantra became "Sony sucks", which recalled George Michael's "Phony"!

After a period of R&R, he will need to sort out his finances and begin to liquidate his assets (perhaps selling his remaining investment in the Beatles catalogue to Sony). His Sony recording contract expires in December, but better the devil you know Michael. He'll have to renegotiate, but with far less generous terms than in 1991. Mariah Carey and George Michael discovered virtual obscurity following splits with Sony. The latter artist, ironically, returned to the fold in 2004.

Jackson should consider performing again. A new studio album produced by Quincy Jones backed by those alluring greatest hits, showcased either on tour or join fellow Sony artist Celine Dion in Las Vegas (the perfect setting).

MJJ as 'celebrity brand' is dead. Yet, the gloved-one may get the last laugh with the power of song (his unique selling point) and see his back catalogue on UMD (Universal Media Disk).

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Last evening's party, in Cornwall, was a resounding success. The only fly in the ointment was continuously interrupted sleep! Last year I was awoken by the sound of the hotel fire alarm (a hoax) and this year it was the turn of a too loud TV left on all night! The dulcet tones of Sarah McLachlan - Afterglow Live - eased my chagrin. The season of goodwill indeed!

ScummVM was updated to 0.7.0 just in time for the holiday. And Atari fans can indulge in some XL/XE/XEGS nostalgia. There was a time, long ago, when I drooled at the prospect of playing Ballblazer and Rescue on Fractalus! on Atari 8-bit. You too can take on the insidious Jaggies once again.



Tonight, as Mariah Carey emotes festive feelings, I'm adding the finishing touches to an end of year backup image. This will be burnt to DVD before the New Year.